What The....?

Yes, yes. It has been forever since I've been blogging. Oh, blogosphere, I am sure I have been missed. And really I do hate the term "blogosphere".

First, I was sick. Then, I got a complete drubbing from work and school.

Meanwhile, there's been a lot going on. How about the photo to the left? Just finished watching The Daily Show on TiVo and Jon Stewart did a great bit around an imagined conversation between the two. He did an exaggerated and stereotypical impression of Bono asking about "world poverty" (I think it sounded like the Leprechaun from Lucky Charms cereal) while his Bush impression (dead on), exclaims "I like the Edge." Good stuff from Stewart as always.

Much Respect to the Sox

Much love to the Chicago White Sox for moving on in the American League Playoffs and disposing of defending champion Boston Red Sox. Does this mean we don't have to see that insufferable Johnny Damon on camera anymore? And no more Ben Affleck in BoSox gear sightings?

More importantly, take that, obnoxious Cubs fans. The Sox have gotten absolutely no love by the local news media despite the fact that they have had a great season all year long. Only now are they getting the attention they deserve.

Best of luck South Siders...

Im-B-cile

That should be this guy's name. You don't think it would fit? C'mon, there are rappers named Juvenile, Da Brat, etc.

Alright, alright. How about Een-Coherent?

Well, anyway, his real name is Paul Wall and he was recently on Howard Stern's radio program. Howard had him on because he has a certain "dialect".

See notes from his appearance below and at Howard's website:

Howard had Paul Wall, the white rapper who sounds black in the clip from MTV Howard has been playing recently, into the studio. Howard told Paul that when he first heard the clip, he was sure he was listening to a black guy. He added that not even Eminem has mastered the black dialect the way Paul has. Paul mentioned that he is from Houston and that he was exposed to so many different types of people growing up that he always talked this way. Paul also claimed that he is not trying to sound black and that he couldn’t talk differently unless he really tried to fake it. Despite his argument, Howard suggested that Paul would learn how to talk white really quickly if he ever had to go to court.

Experience, Schmerience

Oh, Georgie. Can I call you Dubyah? A lot of things can be said about you. Heck a lot of things have been said already. But let me say this: "You've got a friggin' set of balls."

FEMA Director? You don't need experience in crisis management or disaster control? What, you judged horse shows? Alright, you're hired, Brownie.

You want to be Director of the Office of Women's Health? You're a vet? Work on female animals? Yes? No? Ah, whatever. Close enough.

And say, you want to make important decisions about social issues in this country and pass judgment on important policies that will affect millions of people? Hey, you don't need to be a judge to be on the Supreme Court.

What an absolute joke in a non-fucking-stop string of missteps, mishaps, and blantant "I don't give a fuck about you's". Nepotism to the nth degree. Individuals without qualifications running the highest levels of offices in this country. He is single-handedly destroying us. Now go sit in the corner, dumbass W.

Those Indie Guys Are Good

A little over a week ago, we saw the indie film Thumbsucker. I didn't have any expectations, didn't even know what it was about, who was in it....but was pleasantly surprised.

There are some well-performed cameos by big-name stars like Keanu Reeves and Vince Vaughn and overall the film is a quirky, endearing coming-of-age story. Check it out.

Life, Meet Art. Art, Meet Life.

A good friend of mine recently pointed out a hilarious example of life imitating art.

A little over a year ago, the fake-newspaper The Onion published a piece titled "Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades." It is absolutely one of my favorite Onion articles ever. That first paragraph is nearly flawless.

Now fast-forward to September 2005 and the recent announcement from Gillette that they are unveiling their five-blade razor.

Oy Vey!

Whooo. It's been a while. Lots going on but I've been too busy with work and school lately. Should one really be keeping a blog when one works full-time, goes to grad-school part-time, has a wife, and a fantasy football team?

Anyhow, noticed this interesting story about Brooklyn.

Might we be moving there? Who knows?

Chicago Gets the Shaft Again...and again

The Second City gets another blow to its self-esteem with the announcement that all Marshall Field's stores would be converted to Macy's.

There goes a Chicago institution...

And in related news, Marty Casey was NOT selected as lead singer for INXS in CBS' Rock Star: INXS.

Truly a sad day for the Windy City. A sad day indeed.

Well Put, Mr. Maher

Had this forwarded to me by a colleague and thought it captured what many of us are feeling:

Bill Maher Final Monologue

"Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man? Now I know what you're saying: there's so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know. There's a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote."But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised that you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes."On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side."So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is: 'Take a hint.' "

Grumpy Old Men

What's with the jerk-offs running used bookstores in our neighborhood? Who are these guys and why are they so unhelpful and rude? Okay, so maybe not all of them are this way but so far we are two for two with bad experiences with these guys.

Yesterday, we stopped in a used bookstore to find out what their policy is for buying used books. Seems like a legitimate question, no? Instead of politely answering the question directly, it was more like "Well, what books do you have?" As we proceeded to answer, we were met with indignation and rudeness.

I mean, do you want our business? One would think that a sole proprietor of a dumpy bookstore would go out of his way, what with Amazon, B&N, and Borders at one's fingertips. All we wanted to know was what types of used books you buy. Instead, you don't directly answer our question, direct us to other used bookstores, and scoff when we ask if you buy back "university textbooks". How dare we assume you might do that after saying you purchase "University Press" books.

Grumpy old used bookstore guys, you are a bunch of dicks.

TRAIN WRECK

Man, where the heck have I been? Has anyone seen CBS' Rock Star INXS?

It is an absolute train wreck! As cliched as it may sound, it is definitely like watching an accident. You're horrified but you can't stop watching.

Where do I even begin?

Well, how about with the fact that the show's premise is inherently flawed. INXS was Michael Hutchence. No one can name the other jokers in this band. So what's the point of staging a contest to replace Hutchence? INXS is completely irrelevant.

Secondly, there is Brooke Burke. She's easy to look at but she's got about as much personality as a coffee table. Okay, maybe less. Emote, girl! Didn't she used to have some personality on E!'s "Wild On"?

Then, there's Dave Navarro who sits in on some of the songs and generally kisses the contestants' asses like a male version of Paula Abdul (a la American Idol). Man, what happened to this guy? Didn't he play in Jane's Addiction and Red Hot Chili Peppers? What a wuss he's become. I knew Carmen Electra could do no good.

Finally, there are the contestants themselves. One word: Cheese.

This show's so bad. It's good.

Fuck-Up, Thy Name Is Bush

See! Even Google thinks so! And Google is the best search engine around.

Old, White, Insensitive, and Out-of-Touch

"And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this — this is working very well for them," she said.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. What a despicable family.

Just exactly how black is SO BLACK?

In another example that many reporters/newscasters/pundits, etc. can't actually think or talk for themselves, Blitzer delivers this gem....

From CNN's The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer, Thursday, September 1, 2005, covering the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina:

BLITZER: "You simply get chills every time you see these poor individuals, as Jack Cafferty just pointed out, so tragically, so many of these people, almost all of them that we see, are so poor and they are so black, and this is going to raise lots of questions for people who are watching this story unfold."

Incompetence and Arrogance Part 1

In just one of the multitude of missteps and general incompetence continually exhibited by the Bush Administration, we learn that the head of FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency), Mike Brown, has very little if any experience actually handling disasters.

I don't know about you, but I always thought one had to have demonstrable experience and a proven track record in order to head up such an important organization. But once again, Bush rewards those who are his buddies, rather than selecting the best and most qualified individuals for the jobs. Way to go Bushie.

Of course, this fool is oblivious and stands by his man saying: "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." Yeah, a heck of a job doing nothing.

The Wit and Wisdom of Zoolander

Derek Zoolander: Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.

Hansel: So I'm repelling down mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip. And I'm just falling, terrified and then I think, "Hey, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days and couldn't some of this maybe be in your mind?" Derek Zoolander: And? Hansel: And it was. I was totally fine. I've never even been to mount Vesuvius.

Hansel: I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.

Derek Zoolander: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman".

Hansel: You can dere-lick my balls cap-E-tan. Derek Zoolander: I can Dere-lick my own balls.

No Sleep Til Brooklyn

More from this week's trip to NYC.....

We started our Monday morning with an awesome breakfast at Pastis in the Meatpacking District. We then headed to Brooklyn to explore a few neighborhoods. Williamsburg was first. Got off at Bedford Avenue and though there seemed to be some pretty cool restaurants and shops, appeared to be a "work in progress". I'm thinking we didn't see the best Williamsburg had to offer but weren't completely impressed with what we did see.

Next up was Park Slope, which was quite nice. Lots of entertainment options and a chill vibe. The side streets had rows upon rows of picturesque brownstones and looked like a really nice neighborhood to live in. We stopped in a place called Cocoa Bar for some delicious drinks and saw Brooklyn's own Steve Buscemi (pictured here) order a cappucino to go.

Our tired feet got the best of us so we did not end up seeing Brooklyn Heights but instead took the subway back to Manhattan and took a walk around the farmer's market in Union Square. We filled up our gas tanks at the Greenwich Brewery before resting up for the evening.

That night, met up with some friends (recent transplants to the city) for dinner at Pipa in the Gramercy Park area. Being a tapas fan, Pipa had quite a bit to do in order to impress but suprisingly and thankfully, it delivered. The sangria was tasty and the tapas were solid with a few being even extraordinary - the dates wrapped in bacon with bleu cheese and the crispy calamari.

More New York Stories

Okay, I am working my way backwards to review our trip to New York. On Tuesday, we went to the American Museum of Natural History on the Upper West Side. Although our feet were killing us from hiking all over Manhattan and some of Brooklyn over the span of just a few days, we did find time for a little culture.

The exhibition I enjoyed the most was their permanent collection of Dinosaur fossils which prompted me to wonder "Why the hell did these bad-ass creatures become extinct?".

Prior to the museum, we checked into our hotel "On the Ave" on Broadway and 77th. It was a trendy, boutique-style hotel complete with flat-screen HDTV mounted to the wall. Pretty cool place but for the price we paid, they could have had more amenities/toiletries and some friendlier staff.

We started the morning walking through Times Square. Is there a louder, gaudier, smellier, more-touristy part of town than this? I think not. I pity the Red-Staters who visit Manhattan to feast at the Red Lobster or Bubba Gump Shrimp chain restaurants and think they are dining in the Big Apple.

After Times Square, we took a leisurely stroll through Rockefeller Center and took in the shops on Fifth Avenue.

Current Song I Can't Get Out of My Head

The District Sleeps Alone Tonight by The Postal Service.

Overheard in New York

We recently got back from our trip to New York City, which I'll be blogging more about. On Tuesday afternoon, we grabbed some lunch at a great little place called Sarabeth's on the Upper West Side.

While we were chowing down, couldn't help but notice two little boys and their "nana" sitting next to us. Gotta think that it's real easy for kids to become quite precocious when they grow up in the Big Apple.

And in our own personal experience of "Overheard in New York", we overhead one of the young boys who couldn't be more than 6 ask his nana:

"What's a mortgage?"

Nana proceeded to explain it to the little boy. We were hoping he would explain it to us.