TRAIN WRECK

Man, where the heck have I been? Has anyone seen CBS' Rock Star INXS?

It is an absolute train wreck! As cliched as it may sound, it is definitely like watching an accident. You're horrified but you can't stop watching.

Where do I even begin?

Well, how about with the fact that the show's premise is inherently flawed. INXS was Michael Hutchence. No one can name the other jokers in this band. So what's the point of staging a contest to replace Hutchence? INXS is completely irrelevant.

Secondly, there is Brooke Burke. She's easy to look at but she's got about as much personality as a coffee table. Okay, maybe less. Emote, girl! Didn't she used to have some personality on E!'s "Wild On"?

Then, there's Dave Navarro who sits in on some of the songs and generally kisses the contestants' asses like a male version of Paula Abdul (a la American Idol). Man, what happened to this guy? Didn't he play in Jane's Addiction and Red Hot Chili Peppers? What a wuss he's become. I knew Carmen Electra could do no good.

Finally, there are the contestants themselves. One word: Cheese.

This show's so bad. It's good.